


Ten reasons why I love you (and I need to let you go)

by angstyun



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends Choi Beomgyu & Huening Kai, Childhood Memories, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Huening Kai-Centric, Light Angst, M/M, Music, Oblivious Choi Beomgyu, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:33:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyun/pseuds/angstyun
Summary: Kai has been in love with his best friend Beomgyu since they were little. Although he knows his love is unrequited, he struggles to let his feelings go.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Huening Kai, Choi Beomgyu/Huening Kai, Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	Ten reasons why I love you (and I need to let you go)

Kai loved Beomgyu. It wasn't something he had tried to hide nor ever made the effort to deny. Yet his best friend had never realised his feelings.

He was Kai’s startline, his beginning and his end. Everything they did, they always did together. It was impossible to separate them, like two stars belonging to the same constellation, Gemini twins. They were joined at the hip, brothers, or maybe even more than that. Kai could only dream.

_ One, I love your company. _

He was like his star. Kai’s world seemed to rotate around him, his rays illuminating the darkness in a way that nobody else could. He made everything that was wrong feel right, any evil disintegrating in the intensity of his light. He was the sun, the golden ball in the sky. Without his warmth, the world would be far too cold, frozen, unbearable. 

_ Two, I love your warmth.  _

Ever since they were little, playing in the garden together, Kai had loved him. Kai had loved him since he had moved in next door since their little hands had first made contact all those years ago. He had loved him when Beomgyu got his first girlfriend at 11. And when they broke up a week later, he was there to wipe the tears away. 

He was always there. 

Kai loved Beomgyu’s eyes. He adored the way they glistened, shining brighter than the stars in the sky. Looking into them felt like a dream; it was a surreal experience. Kai swore you could get lost in them, like a spiral, spinning over and over and over. They made you fall hard, tumbling into a black hole.

And you’d never hit the bottom.

_ Three, I love how your eyes sparkle. _

When Beomgyu’s soft lips first touched Kai’s own, he loved him even more. They tasted like citrus, fruity, summery. It was refreshing and memorable, the feel of Beomgyu’s lips lingering on his for hours after. 

Kai couldn’t help but imagine what a full kiss would feel like, dying to feel more than just an experimental peck. For a second, he had allowed himself to dream about the boy reciprocating his feelings. But Beomgyu was just exploring his sexuality, Kai was his safe space. The kiss meant little, at least to Beomgyu it did. Yet Kai never forgot that feeling, nor the plumpness or the taste left on his lips. He was left craving more, never satisfied, just hurt. 

But Kai still loved him just the same. 

_ Four, I love your lips.  _

Kai even loved Beomgyu when he decided to leave, when he packed his bag for university and didn’t turn back. He loved him when his heart was smashed, his hand locked in another's, a ring on her finger.

He loved Beomgyu, even if he had to let him go. 

_ Five, I love the memories we’ve shared  _

Their wedding was soon, a marriage that was highly anticipated, exciting to all parties. Beomgyu always had the most beautiful grin when talking about her. His straight face would turn giggly, his cheeks flushing with a crimson hue. Kai was just glad to see him finally happy. Beomgyu’s smile would always ignite butterflies in his stomach, feelings he knew he shouldn’t harbour. 

_ Six, I love your smile.  _

He was just so caring, so kind, so sweet. He put everyone else before himself, even dedicating his life to teaching little kids music. Helping others was his passion; it always had been ever since he was little. 

When he was 7, he ran his own homemade lemonade stand to raise money for less fortunate children. Kai had helped him squeeze the lemons, adding the sugar meticulously until it hit the perfect level of sweetest. 

At 14, Beomgyu became invested in helping others through music. He'd play his guitar in care homes and sing all the old songs, getting the residents to join in with big smiles upon their faces.

At 17, he volunteered at the hospital, talking to dementia patients and keeping them company. Making people happy was important to him. It was something that he went out of his way to do, always looking for another challenge to take on.

Nothing was too much for him; he’d do anything to make others' lives better.

_ Seven, I love your kindness.  _

If Kai ever told Beomgyu his feelings, he would be crushed for him, guilty. Kai didn’t want him to feel that way. He was happy to just watch, stand by his best friend's side as he took the love of his life by the hand, promising to be with her for eternity. 

As Beomgyu kissed his new wife, water brimmed his eyes. No matter how much he tried to blink them back, he couldn’t stop the overwhelming happiness from flooding down his cheeks. Pulling her close was the best feeling of his life. She was stunning, perfect for him. Where he had flaws, she filled in the gaps. 

_ Eight, I love your commitment. _

Beomgyu wore the most beautiful black suit that day, his hair perfectly smoothed and parted. He was so handsome, so charming that anyone would fall for him. But he was a taken man now. His eyes were fixated on only one person: his wife. 

Kai was overjoyed for him. Of course, his chest ached. It pounded in pain against his ribcage, screaming in agony for the suffering to stop. He wanted to disappear into the darkness of his room and pour out his heart under the covers. 

But he wouldn’t. 

This was Beomgyu’s day. He would continue to smile, watch his best friend laugh and dance around. He would be the friend that he needed to be, feelings aside. 

He hoped it would help him move on, get over this stupid unrequited love that he had harboured for so long. Beomgyu would never see him as anything but a brother, and he needed to let those romantic feelings go.

_ Nine, I love to see you happy.  _

"They look so beautiful together."

Kai turned to his side, a redhead leaning against the wall with a prosecco glass in his hand. He was staring at the couple, their hands intertwined with one another, 

"Yeah...they do."

He couldn’t deny it. They were ideal, perfectly slotting together. She was the missing puzzle piece in Beomgyu’s life, and now he felt complete again.

_ Ten, I love you... _

"I don't think we've met before. I'm Taehyun. I work with Beomgyu."

Taehyun was gorgeous. Everything on his face was perfectly aligned, his eyes sparkling in the shining sun. Something about him put Kai at ease, even settling his aching heart for a short moment. 

"Oh, hi. I'm Kai.”

They locked eyes for a moment, a connection beginning to form between them that they never expected to grow. 

"I've heard about you. And I have to say, you were pretty in pictures, but wow you're even prettier in person."

Kai giggled a bit, stuttering out a thank you and a small subtle smile. The stabbing pain in his chest felt numb now, no longer so overwhelmingly painful. For once, he couldn’t help but believe that maybe, just maybe, things would start to brighten up for him soon too. 

_...and I need to let you go.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> Thank you for reading! ♥ This is the first time I've written Beomkai so I was kinda excited so yeah I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> \- Megan
> 
> (you can follow me on twitter @angstyun <3)


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